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I have always led myself to believe that I did not regret anything I have ever done. You know because "It made me the person I am today.", that old excuse. I crossed paths last week with a friend, a very dear friend, and it has sturred all sorts of things within me. It has also made me admit to myself that there are some things that I do regret and that that is okay. I only realized this after just now emailing her and not being able to stop crying. I think it is the first time that I have actually even processed the thought of things I may have missed out on or learned or how my life might have grown in a different direction if I wasn't so hell bent on screwing it up at such a young age.

I wonder if her life and mine are now so different and distant that our 'old' friendship is our only common ground. I wish she could know how close I have held that friendship to my heart for such a long time. I thank God for crossing our paths on that day last week. I was in a grocery store that I have not been to in about 10 years on the meat isle at the same time as she and that my friends, is no coincidence.

I have a friend from my past that things ended horribly with too. I do have regrets. I think it's important to admit that we as human beings have made choices that have hurt us and others and were wrong, if for no other reason than it helps us from doing the same thing again. I wish I could run into my friend some day. I wish I knew if she felt as horrible about everything as I do.....

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