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Last night I made homemade chicken parmasean and garlic bread and salad for dinner. I set the table and Brandon and I sat and ate dinner together as usual, just like every other night. ( well the nights that I cook, which are about 5 out of 7) After we are finished eating Brandon puts our dirty dishes away and I put up odds and ends and wipe the counters as usual, just like every other night.

After re taking our seat at the, now clean, kitchen table to I tell Brandon I am bored and the following very short, very direct exchange of words left me feeling well, bumfuzzled!@? Please, read it for yourself:

Me: I am bored.
Brandon: Well, what do you want to do?
Me: Hell, I dont know.
Me:You want to play cards?
Brandon: You want to get married?
***crickets chirp all around us***
Me: Huh?

Yes it seems that after eight years his parents are starting to put the pressure on him and thought that when we were up in Montana at the end of this month it would be a good time to suprise me with a wedding. Brandon knows how I am with suprises. Not very good. While the thought is very very sweet, I like to pick my own shit out. Brandon has bought me rings before, almost all of which we took back and exchanged because I didnt like it. I can be bitchy about it too. I dont mean too but like after eight years shouldnt you have a clue of my taste?? (although my taste varies alot!) And what about a wedding dress? Do you realize I am packing cargo pants and camo pants and stuff to go to Montana. Throwing a suprise wedding with me in camo is not what I jave pictured.

What suprised me the most was the way I re acted when I figured out that Brandon was not just fucking with my head. I laughed this weird, anxious, nervous crazed lunatic laugh that would just die out and then I would see white specks and almost vomit. I am so serious. 100% Fact. And Brandon.....awe so damn cute (and sweet) his face turned bright red and he couldnt really look me in the eye because I think his head might have imploded. This is when I said to myself...."Self, this fucker aint playin".

It was the weirdest conversation I have ever had in my life. Not because of what was being said between us, that was beautiful in our own special Kelly and Brandon way, but because of the way it made me feel. I know its not a bad weird. I think its just that Brandon and I have been together as a couple, inseperable, living together for eight years and dated off and on and were best friends for the five years before that and for a while I too tried to put the wedding bell pressure on him to no avail. So one day I gave up. I still want to marry him (because I dont want to go to hell over a small thing like a marriage license) but I guess I just accepted the fact that he is going to be my forever wether a peice of paper states that or not.

I am still processing it all, we will not be having a suprise wedding in Montana though. But to know that he is ready means alot to me. I just have to figure out how to get back to 'ready' myself.

Aww how sweet! Hey you never know it might be fun getting married in camo (make sure its Mossy Oak!)and having the redneck hunting wedding (you can carry ivy just make sure its not poison ivy!)


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